The in-between...it sounds strange, doesn't it? I choose to call so the state my life is in. People say that life is a large waiting room and me tired of waiting chose to come out of this waiting room in quest of the unknown (or the Holy Grail) but instead of that I got caught in the in-between...
To get things straight I want what the next person wants; a good job, some money to live a descent life, love, friends and family, there is nothing wrong with that, is it? I guess I was wrong, there is someting wrong with that, ME!
I did the planning and the thinking and the dreaming but somehow I forgot to do the predicting!
Therefore, here I am with my MA almost finished, with a PhD I might do, with a job probably on its way, with my family almost happy, with my friends a bit content and a bit depressed, with my quite good boyfriend.....what is wrong with that picture? the almosts and probablys and bits and quites...because nothing is complete, nothing is entirely good or entirely bad and I have to wait for the signs of time to start sorting things out.
The problem is that I have been waiting for these signs for 5 months now and still there is none of them coming and I am running out of patience and energy!
In addition of course, my body and my health (the lunatic) are playing tricks on me...swollen from extra body water, more kilos despite the usage of medicine, allergies appearing out of nowhere although I ate nothing in order to summon them, excessive sleep or excessive lack of sleep... in mathematic psychology these add up to a nervous wreck!
It's no big deal, I know in time everything will fall into its right place but until then I want to stay hidden from the rest of the world! May I ??????
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