This day in history,6 years ago...like today

This day in history Arab terrorists members of the Black September break into the Olympic Village in Munich and hold hostages Israelian athletes,this day in history in 1939 Roosvelt declares USA to be neutral to the World War II.
Six years ago like today one of the most infamous criminals in Greece (Koufodinas) got caught, six years ago like today my best friend got her university degree,six years ago like today I came face to face with death, numbing pain and loss......
My aunt died,my mother's sister who was like my mother in my heart and mind,after a 13-month-battle with cancer.But it was not the cancer that killed her,it was the pain that came from it. The death certificate says it clearly, heart-attack because of extreme pain. There is nothing in there,however,about my extreme pain.
I was waiting for her to die since the doctors took me aside and explained to me that there is cancer in her bones (between the 6th and 7th rib) and that painful days for her lie ahead,that eventually she will fall into a comma and die. It took me days to compromise with the facts and I won an Oscar for my perfomance in the play "there is nothing wrong with you auntie,you will be OK".
I didn't mind the endless race of finding doctors and morphine to ease her pain. I didn't mind the sleepless nights and my locking inside the house. I did mind though that I was slowly losing her and there was nothing I could do about that.
My aunt Anastasia was a widow since she was 45 years old. She had no children of her own,she couldn't have any (long story) and she became my mother since the moment I was born. The motto "parents raise,aunts get to spoil" was never applied to our relationship. My parents never got along well with each other and when they were younger they used to fight a lot. If one adds up the hours they were working and the frequency they were travelling...one comprehends how many years I spent living with my aunt. Her house was a 3-minute-walk from mine so by the age of 7 I could go there unattended and I had a key. This house was my harbour of tranquility,my aunt's games and her natural joyful character were my source of happiness.
She was playing with me as a child-she was my donkey and I was riding her,she was studying with me when I grew older -she was holding my history book the year before I passed my university exams,even though her eyes were closing and it was 5 o'clock in the morning!-she was providing a shelter for me and my friends whenever we had a problem along with heartfelt advice. She made sure that I felt loved and cared about every step of the way.
The reason I grew up to be psychologically healthy and mentally steady is her presence in my life. She taught me that there is no cross humans cannot carry and that everytime I fall I have to get up and get back into the game quickly,there lies the strength and power in every human. She had a very difficult life herself being kidnapped from her home and taken away to Romania for 23 years, she was buried by a bomb which resulted to an inability to have children and when everything was straightened out and came back to Greece she lost her husband and her mother. Surprisingly, she never stopped smiling and thanking God for her life! What a role model!
Even when she got ill, she went through it by smiling and joking about everything around her and she didn't let cancer break her spirit not even for a second.Cancer didn't even kill her,her heart betrayed her. Such a big heart but still broken and stopped by pain and morphine.
Even now six years later....I look up into the sky at night and wonder on which star she lives and where she waves from down to me. There is no way that she left me here alone,unattended without her warm love around me...her embrace,however,is another issue. I still want to run and hide in her arms,in where I was untouchable by pain and problems,in where I was comforted.
It still hurts too much to think that I've lost her,it hurts to know that my children will never get to meet her.It hurts even more that I don't have her clean mind and advice. How could you,auntie,leave me here all alone without straightening my life out first? Why did you go? I wonder what you think about my choices and my life...are you smiling or are you unhappy with them? Are you at all proud of me?
You taught me well,you should know that.There is nothing that can break my spirit,just like it was the case for you. I always try to smile in bright and dark times equally. Just please show me the star you are on....show me to which direction to look at nights while thinking and wondering and deciding,please...I miss you,still.
I wish you a heavenly trip through the stars,my guardian angel...farewell 'til we meet again.