Happy Happy New Year! are you sure???

2010 has finally arrived and so the world proceeds its existence into the second decade of the 21st century...while browsing through the internet I came across something called the 2000's, the most important events of the decade that has just surpassed us...the political events, the natural catastrophies,scientific achievements and many many more list of all memorable human activities that took place from the year 2000-2009, I locked up at home for the first time in years-nearly 19 to be exact- I spend my New Year's Eve looking at all of these gathered info and I try to make a small list of my own. What exactly have I accomplished during this decade?
Well for starters,the decade found me 22 years old and now I'm 31..31...31 Oh,God no matter how many times I say it,I still cannot get used to the sound of it. Not that I feel old or in panic or something it's just that I don't feel that the my objective matches my subjective but that is again a whole different subject and requires another blog (Will I ever decide to sit down and finish my thesis???? I guess not). And then again along with the 10 years older that I got I'm supposed to have 10 years of experiences and to be 10 years wiser..(I can imagine some people smiling while reading this)
The older part I got it! Had no chance but to accept the years as they came....The experiences part I think I got it,too...moving to a different country,coming back,studying and working abroad,experiencing the death of a loved one,travelling a lot,changing jobs, I think my decade was as full as possible "experiencewise" and now my personal favourite am I 10 years wiser?
Let's say that I do not have the same way of thinking that I used to have. I used to believe more in people and I used to make friends easier and I used to try to hold on to them.
THE break-up that I have suffered shorty after we had welcomed the 21st century was a perfectly good lesson about how naive I had been until then. The can of worms had been opened and I had to face it. People are not as nice or as loving as they seem and some of them do try to control you in an abrupt or in a subtle way but the result is the same. Why control you? would you ask and an excellent question it is but I think you know the answer. Because they can get scared/jealous I don't know what else and they want to put you under their spell so that they won't feel so insignificant....wow! I still sound angry,aren't I? The truth is that I am not, I am just sorry that I allowed myself to feel the way I was feeling. I had my heart broken and my pride shuttered and and my self-esteem and respect reduced by 90%...how many wisdom points do I get?
I'm leaving deaths and marriages and the births of my nieces and nephews that filled up my life aside and I am coming to the second wisdom-giving lesson. Friendships...I cannot even find the end or the beginning-no need to argue on this one-of Ariadne's thread.The number of friends that came and went from my life isn't that big but the surprising fact is that some of them went without ever understanding that I've been nothing but nice to them,simply stopped talking to me or simply chose to believe a different version of me than the one that was standing in front of them.Wouldn't you,too feel that it is not the best idea in the world to make friends easily and share a part of yourself with them? Wisdom points +100!
Whoever is reading me right now is thinking "yeah,yeah been there,done that,no harm done,what's your point?"
My point is that we go from New Year's to New Year's without ever balancing out the good moments/lessons/feeling with the bad ones...we think back for a sec,try to get a feeling from the year waving goodbye to us and if the feeling is good,we smile,if it's bad we wish for a better next year. And then we go on with our New Year's resolutions...the resolutions...of course they will be the guide through the newborn year...whom are we kidding?we never used a single one of them! They are are hope,our lighthouse that lead us to go on.
Going back to my wisdom points I discovered that along with several extra bonus points I got extra fear and bitterness points as well (in reality a lot fear points but who's keeping score anyway?) and these are the points guiding my New Year's resolution...so? what do you have to say? Stick to my resolutions?NO First I need to finish the flashback of the decade before I decide to make ant resolution and I did...I returned to my wisdom-free resolutions as my safest choice...I will be going to the gym 4 times a week and not 3, I will finally do that diet that doesn't allow chocolate (which diet allows you to eat chocolate?if you find one,will be happy to receive your e-mail) and I will do all my chores ontime (instead of working on my thesis I'm writing on my blog...excellent start)!
I realized that I seriously need to put my feelings into order and throw away what was not learnt and keep only the valuable lessons...so the question that remains is "Who is getting up tomorrow to go to the gym?? Better on Saturday...don't you think?"