And another year has passed by...

And yet another year has passed by...I am breathing through the last 24 hours of 2010 and getting ready to welcome 2011 and through these breaths I am (how original!) trying to balance all the things that I have lived through this year...
First of all, as for its taste, its bitter and sour with only a few sprinkles of sugar which I honestly hope they wouldn't exist or occured never ever because these made the bitterness stronger....I am well aware of the fact that I am the dumb person here but I like the thought that I am going through life using my heart as a weapon and not my brain...brains can cross to the dark side so easily but hearts rarely do,they can only turn from whole into broken or shattered even therefore are more of a soft power for those who can appreciate their value....
Let's take it from the beginning,my dear blog, shall we? And then we will be ready to try to leave it all behind..we will cherish the good moments and throw away all the bad ones....
In terms of education it has been an excellent year!! After 10 months of hard work on my thesis I finally got my Master's Degree on European Studies..oh,what a happy moment that was....the feeling of victory,the glory of achievement I felt invincible...and all powerful...the Superman of Studies but alas! the rest turned out to be my Cryptonite.....
In my professional life disaster struck twice,worse than a lightning...2 lightnings on the exact same spot...at the beginning I started the new school year with promising perspectives and a couple of future plans for a promotion and not only the promotion never came but I lost my classes due to serious educational disagreements with my "honourable" boss and on top of that when my health decided to complete the puzzle of misfortune I was left unemployed because I was not physically able to work...
yes, my health...Oh,God! where should I begin explaining the endless adventure of an acute pancreatitis? and the painful surgery that followed after? I have NO words...from the mind-blowing pain to the 20 days in the hospital and the constant starvation I cannot find any words to describe how it felt...(and since I am a "silly" woman I have to point out that there was a silver lining afterall because I lost 9 kg and it was the cheapest diet I have ever done...I had to find at least one good point,right?)
Oh,well oh,well I am simply whinning you'll think...all is well that ends well...you think?are you absolutely sure? I am not dead you'll say..and I have to agree...
It's my Waterloo's turn...the "department" of men and love.....and I've had so many defeat this year that I think even Napoleon would pat my shoulder nodding that Waterloo was merely just a loss....
The "apple of my eyes" has been in crisis of stupidity of stubborness and has caused me a great deal of pain and anger at the same time...He refused to move to Greece because it would damage his career (although he knows I would be suffocating in Istanbul) he got a loan from the bank while I was unemployed and he couldn't even come to see me (no money,honey...what a beauuuuuuuutiful rhyme) and he chose this year,of course not to go on holidays with me...(simply sweeeeeeeeet)
Me..angry,neglected and desperate and lonely I started talking with a friend a bit more...and the few words on the messenger turned into conversations and the conversations turned into phone calls and the phone calls turned into spending our whole day together..now you'd think that my precious didn't understand?no,he didn't because this was an "online" friend...I don't know how and I don't know when and I certainly don't know why I was swept off my feet...from a person I've never seen? yes!I told you I'm dumb,didn't I? I was dreaming and making plans again..I was feeling desired and that I getting attention and care and there,right there on this very big moment of bliss and sentiment the other shoe dropped....he got ill, he disappeared for a couple of days and passed away...how the hell happened you'll say?what?why?from what?now?really?,you'd say...I know I know I've said and thought the same stuff,as well...but after a deeper research...I found out that my heart has been played so technically perfectly played that it turned into a masterpiece of broken pieces with all the colours of tears there can be....I am well aware of the shaking heads right now (you believed an internet guy? how naive! you tried to cheat on your boyfriend?serves you right!) and maybe they are being shaken right and left rightfully but can you imagine yourself living in a perfect dream?laughing and joking and playing and crying and sharing...can you imagine falling asleep on the voice call listening to the other person's soothing rythmical breath and feeling that this is the only place in the world you want to be right that moment? can you imagine all mystery and feeling being wrapped around you making your blood running faster in your veins and your being standing still to listen to the sound of the incoming message before you even read it? can you honestly tell me that if a hollywood-movie romance was dropped off in your life you would have the courage to just let it walk away? C'MON! Am I the last romantic left in this world? I am not even considered to be romantic!!! I spent 10 months living the dream...for 10 months I have cyber-shared everything with this person and now all I have with me is a void on my messenger,a hole in my heart, and a big, shiny, lighting on&off why in my head...wasn't I good enough to keep him with me? wasn't I pleasant enough to make him miss me as much as I miss him? wasn't I clever enough to protect my heart by using my mind...obviously not to all the above...obviously not to all the questions I'm asking myself daily..just picture this..the surgery's anestheasia was my high point because I was too drugged to think or feel...and in this way I am saying goodbye to the year 2010...body broken,soul aching,heart shattered and hope arising...whatever the New year holds for me cannot be worse because I am making an educated guess that this time ONE misfortune will come knocking on my door and if it's not one...I survived..I am breathing through each second,right? I am walking, I am thinking (not always clearly) and I am still capable of loving so...what can bring me down? because now that I am reaching towards the end of this story I MUST add my secret ingredient...I have truly wonderful friends...friends who listen, friends who support friends who do not need to be by my side or at my ear I feel their love and I was lucky to get them...and I have faith that will get me out of my melancholy of crying violins and grey skies and I have hope...hope of the better hope a better year to come...
Forgive me...I am a descendent of Lyric Poetry and Greek Tragedy...what did you expect? I experience everything with a pinch of tragedy,how could I not? but I forgive with a generous dose of a smile...
Goodnight...goodnight my dream wherever you are...I hope that 2011 will bring you a step closer to me...

Random Thoughts

Sitting at home after a long adventure in the Greek hospitals I started wondering about the value that people have in our lives....Two weeks ago I went through the hospital doors suffering from acute pancreatitis due to gallblader stones...2 illnesses I had no idea what they were until I got to experience them the hard way...the pain was so sharp that even the tube inserted from my nose to my stomach wasn't painful enough to distract me....and then (2 opium sedatives later) I realized I had to notify a few people about where I am and how long I was going to be absent...While making that not-so-long list I discovered that there were people very dear to me that didn't even want to talk to them and this mere fact hit me so strange but so strange that gave me something to think about during my two-week painful stay at the hospital...
So there I was...stuck on an uncomfortable bed with a 95-year-old woman next to me (who by the way was looking for her mother) looking at the ceiling,praying for my torture to end as soon as possible...suddenly the telephone rings! a friend is wishing me to get well soon I thank her and I hang the call up very quickly...and then another calls and another and another...I switch the mobile phone off and then I find myself wishing for a few people to call me...I won't reveal their names or the role they play in my life but I will tell you that,my dear blog,you can understand how much you love a person not when you are seeking him/her out in moments of joy but in moments of pain and discomfort and although I didn't want them to be hurt by seeing me or listening to me in a horrible condition still their voice would bring me comfort and hope at my most desperate times.
Who says that true feelings can be understood in laughter and in pain is seriously mistaken...I could share my joy with lots of people but there were very few people I wanted to share my pain with.....
No particular reason for all of these...it just crossed my mind and thought that it would be nice to share it...Good night!

Happy Happy New Year! are you sure???

2010 has finally arrived and so the world proceeds its existence into the second decade of the 21st century...while browsing through the internet I came across something called the 2000's, the most important events of the decade that has just surpassed us...the political events, the natural catastrophies,scientific achievements and many many more list of all memorable human activities that took place from the year 2000-2009, I locked up at home for the first time in years-nearly 19 to be exact- I spend my New Year's Eve looking at all of these gathered info and I try to make a small list of my own. What exactly have I accomplished during this decade?
Well for starters,the decade found me 22 years old and now I'm 31..31...31 Oh,God no matter how many times I say it,I still cannot get used to the sound of it. Not that I feel old or in panic or something it's just that I don't feel that the my objective matches my subjective but that is again a whole different subject and requires another blog (Will I ever decide to sit down and finish my thesis???? I guess not). And then again along with the 10 years older that I got I'm supposed to have 10 years of experiences and to be 10 years wiser..(I can imagine some people smiling while reading this)
The older part I got it! Had no chance but to accept the years as they came....The experiences part I think I got it,too...moving to a different country,coming back,studying and working abroad,experiencing the death of a loved one,travelling a lot,changing jobs, I think my decade was as full as possible "experiencewise" and now my personal favourite am I 10 years wiser?
Let's say that I do not have the same way of thinking that I used to have. I used to believe more in people and I used to make friends easier and I used to try to hold on to them.
THE break-up that I have suffered shorty after we had welcomed the 21st century was a perfectly good lesson about how naive I had been until then. The can of worms had been opened and I had to face it. People are not as nice or as loving as they seem and some of them do try to control you in an abrupt or in a subtle way but the result is the same. Why control you? would you ask and an excellent question it is but I think you know the answer. Because they can get scared/jealous I don't know what else and they want to put you under their spell so that they won't feel so insignificant....wow! I still sound angry,aren't I? The truth is that I am not, I am just sorry that I allowed myself to feel the way I was feeling. I had my heart broken and my pride shuttered and and my self-esteem and respect reduced by 90%...how many wisdom points do I get?
I'm leaving deaths and marriages and the births of my nieces and nephews that filled up my life aside and I am coming to the second wisdom-giving lesson. Friendships...I cannot even find the end or the beginning-no need to argue on this one-of Ariadne's thread.The number of friends that came and went from my life isn't that big but the surprising fact is that some of them went without ever understanding that I've been nothing but nice to them,simply stopped talking to me or simply chose to believe a different version of me than the one that was standing in front of them.Wouldn't you,too feel that it is not the best idea in the world to make friends easily and share a part of yourself with them? Wisdom points +100!
Whoever is reading me right now is thinking "yeah,yeah been there,done that,no harm done,what's your point?"
My point is that we go from New Year's to New Year's without ever balancing out the good moments/lessons/feeling with the bad ones...we think back for a sec,try to get a feeling from the year waving goodbye to us and if the feeling is good,we smile,if it's bad we wish for a better next year. And then we go on with our New Year's resolutions...the resolutions...of course they will be the guide through the newborn year...whom are we kidding?we never used a single one of them! They are are hope,our lighthouse that lead us to go on.
Going back to my wisdom points I discovered that along with several extra bonus points I got extra fear and bitterness points as well (in reality a lot fear points but who's keeping score anyway?) and these are the points guiding my New Year's resolution...so? what do you have to say? Stick to my resolutions?NO First I need to finish the flashback of the decade before I decide to make ant resolution and I did...I returned to my wisdom-free resolutions as my safest choice...I will be going to the gym 4 times a week and not 3, I will finally do that diet that doesn't allow chocolate (which diet allows you to eat chocolate?if you find one,will be happy to receive your e-mail) and I will do all my chores ontime (instead of working on my thesis I'm writing on my blog...excellent start)!
I realized that I seriously need to put my feelings into order and throw away what was not learnt and keep only the valuable lessons...so the question that remains is "Who is getting up tomorrow to go to the gym?? Better on Saturday...don't you think?"

my farewell...part I....getting ready

I have known all along that the school year 2008-09 would be my last one as an Istanbul resident..the months passed and here I am going through May starting a countdown until the Big Day....
While standing in my living room having a nervous breakdown because of the endless things I'll have to pack, I come across a photo from my first job here in Doga College. Me smiling hugging a bunch of 6-year-olds from the 1st grade. And I am smiling again this time with a hint of nostalgy. I leave the cartons and bags as they are,they aren't going to go anywhere anyway, running through my calender, 17th of February 2005 20:00 pm....
Two girls are standing on the train platform...
around them there are 6 huge suitcases,one large carton box, two parents are standing there and two boys are trying to carry the suitcases and the cartons on the train, the train whistles and the time of goodbye has come...
I have been excited all the way until now. I got a good job in Istanbul, I found good opportunities for a master's degree, I was madly in love and my love was waiting to pick me up from my arriving point, the Sirkeci trainstation,Istanbul.
I don't know why,actually, but after the whistle I started feeling lost and afraid. My mother was definitely ready to cry,my friend Foteini was complaining about the sleeping hours she missed because of our club hopping last night and my father was trying to put a bunch of euro banknotes in my hand "just in case". I am ready to go!!!!!
My logic, that little voice in the back of my head-I hate it,by the way!!- was telling me,"you don't speak Turkish,you don't know anything about the country,you have seen your boyfriend 5-6 times until now and he will be joining the army soon..ARE YOU NUTS?" Ignoring the voice, I got on the train and started waving goodbye with a smile...bye bye..I'm not afraid,I'm happy....
During the 16-hour-ride I smoked 1 packet of cigarettes, drank 4-5 cups of bad quality coffee and refused to look out of the window by pretending that I was reading a very interesting book...Bullshit! the book was boring as hell....and I was nervous...I felt a whole lot better when I arrived in Istanbul and saw Muzaffer waiting for me...despite all his efforts, I spent my first night crying, not out of an emotional outburst but mostly because I had too many coffees...
Time went by, in fact it flew by, he went to the army, I started adoring my students and after a lot of exploring the city, I started feeling like home....I learnt the language, I made exceptional friends, I fell head over heels for this city.
It's strange how the human mind works...I cannot quite remember the worst of times among this pile of cartons and bags,only happy memories come to my mind. The happier the memories are, I cannot help but wonder how the scene of this upcoming goodbye will look like...
I look around me again,trying to convince myself that I made my decision and that just like there were reasons for my coming here,there are equally strong reasons for my going away. That little voice in my head started talking annoyingly again and it is talking for days now, I am not sure how I am going to shut it up this time. 4 years have passed...4 years!!!!!! a newborn child would be ready to go to school by now!!!!!!!
The sun is shining sheding light through my closed curtains making the little grains of dust on my TV dancing and then I hear the muslim prayer filling up the room coming from all directions....I put down my head, nod to the little voice -you have too many things to do and not enough time- and I go on packing...with a hint of smile and a hint of tear running down my left cheek.
The time for the last goodbye is not here yet...not just yet....

When caught in the in-between...

The in-between...it sounds strange, doesn't it? I choose to call so the state my life is in. People say that life is a large waiting room and me tired of waiting chose to come out of this waiting room in quest of the unknown (or the Holy Grail) but instead of that I got caught in the in-between...
To get things straight I want what the next person wants; a good job, some money to live a descent life, love, friends and family, there is nothing wrong with that, is it? I guess I was wrong, there is someting wrong with that, ME!
I did the planning and the thinking and the dreaming but somehow I forgot to do the predicting!
Therefore, here I am with my MA almost finished, with a PhD I might do, with a job probably on its way, with my family almost happy, with my friends a bit content and a bit depressed, with my quite good boyfriend.....what is wrong with that picture? the almosts and probablys and bits and quites...because nothing is complete, nothing is entirely good or entirely bad and I have to wait for the signs of time to start sorting things out.
The problem is that I have been waiting for these signs for 5 months now and still there is none of them coming and I am running out of patience and energy!
In addition of course, my body and my health (the lunatic) are playing tricks on me...swollen from extra body water, more kilos despite the usage of medicine, allergies appearing out of nowhere although I ate nothing in order to summon them, excessive sleep or excessive lack of sleep... in mathematic psychology these add up to a nervous wreck!
It's no big deal, I know in time everything will fall into its right place but until then I want to stay hidden from the rest of the world! May I ??????

A story that has no clear ending yet..

I have to get it out of my chest...I really do...I don't only feel stupid most of the time but also helpless and for a woman who is shouting "girlpower all the way!" is not something easy....

You know the classic story... girl meets boy, boy likes her, girl is madly in love and so is the boy.
It's a wonderful story, isn't it?
That's pretty much what happened to me four years ago. The man whom I have secretly been in love with for 4 years decided that he had found the woman of his life and it was not me (of course, of course). I wasn't able and noble enough neither to congratulate him nor to watch him talk about her and how perfect she is for hours and hours. I desperately needed the getaway. So, I grabbed my friend to spend Easter together in Istanbul. And there we were! Our room was excellent with a jacuzzi which we used for hours taking turns in the bathroom.
Finally, having called men names (everything nasty in each and every language we knew) we realised that we were starving. We dressed up and got ready for a night out in the town. Maybe it was the lights, the city, the different environment but I was feeling very daring and seeing the bellboy at the hotel something "clicked" for both of us. Girl meets boy, boy meets girl.
The next day it was Easter Day but for our last night in Istanbul I decided to go out with the boy...the boy was very kind, very sweet and caring. I was charmed. "wait!", I thought, "it's just because you're vulnerable, it can't be true" so, I decided to take one more careful look at the boy and at the city. But this time I got into a bigger trouble! I was not charmed, I was enchanted and swept off my feet.
I made my visits to the city an once-in-a-month routine and I spent endless nights talking with him on the phone. When one morning I woke up having decided to move to Istanbul to be closer to him. Him OH HIM! I started going through millions and billions of websites to justify my decision, to find a reason more practical than I am head over heels in love. The reason came with the form of a job and a potential master's degree. Not at all bad. Five months later I found myself on the train to Istanbul with my coupe loaded with 6 suitcases and my mind loaded with worries about the future but my heart refused to see any of that. It refused to see my mother crying as she was waving goodbye, it refused to see that I was leaving my hometown, my students and my friends behind. The only clear vision during the 14-hour train ride was the image of him waiting for me, the illusion of his smell, the memory of his touch. The girl was absolutely and madly in love. What about the boy?
The boy was ready to go to the army. He thought that once he got back, he would marry the girl and that they would live happily ever after...The boy was,too, absolutely and madly in love.

I hate how the fairy tales end, I hate it! Nobody tells us what happens after Cinderella and the Prince start living together. There is no reference about social or cultural differences and,
naturally, there is no reference of how much they were fighting with each other.
Girl and boy started living together, firstly they lived in a bubble of blissfulness for a couple of months and then he went to the army. The girl was left behind. After she cried her eyes out for days and nights, she realised that she was trapped in a foreign country with no friends, she knew nothing about the city except her house and the school she worked at and she couldn't say one single word in Turkish. She was more alone than ever.
Help started arriving from abroad. Friends from Greece and the UK and Germany started visiting in order to support her and to meet the city, of course. Time passed......the girl learnt Turkish, she wandered about the city and she started feeling comfortable in it. Sometimes she went to another city to visit the boy in the army, to get some strength from a stolen kiss and a valuable hug. Time passed and the boy came back.
The boy? What boy? The boy had turned into a madman! He was demanding, needy, winny and of course a fanatic "Turkish" man. He was prepared to leave the girl alone to go to drink and to celebrate his return with his friends and the girl was left once again behind. Every time he slammed the door to go out the girl was crying and every time he came back tripping from alcohol she was shouting. The boy was ready and eager to continue the fight and very much willing to throw to her face that he had a life in Istanbul and family and friends. She was asking "Do you understand that I'm alone here? that I have nobody else except you?" The answer was always the same " I have never asked you to come to Istanbul and live with me. It was your own choice."
The girl started working like a maniac to forget this answer and she found that infamous master's degree (finally) to get away from him. The girl's heart was broken. Her eyes didn't sparkle out of love anymore and she was thinking "oh,dear one day will come...one day I will show you what I'm made of...you'll see and you'll weep"
Meanwhile, the boy got a good job which kept him too busy for her which was a good thing because she had been busy as well.
The miracle came somehow in this "meanwhile"! The boy still madly in love with her decided to recognise her value in his life and started trying as much as he could to show her that she is THE ONE. He stopped going out unless there was nothing they could do together, he started cutting back on alcohol and he finally told her "Thank God you're here and you're with me! Thank you for not giving up on "us"!" She was deeply moved, the girl felt in love again, she felt a warmth in her heart and left all these "one day I will..." behind.
A year later temptation arrived....hmm..better yet, a year later temptation caught her attention.
A very handsome boy asked to meet the girl. The girl refused at first but the boy was really cute and her heart turned out to be only "glued" back not mended.... She never meant to be charmed by him but she was, she never meant to answer to his "flirts" but after one teeny tiny fight with the first boy she rushed into an answer.
Nights and nights passed with her gazing at the stars looking for answers. She knows that the second boy will only be a better glue for her wounded heart and pride. It is crystal clear that her heart and body and soul and mind desperately need this "mending" but she cannot help but wonder...once she is healed (if she decides to go for it) what will she discover? Once she has her whole heart back again what will happen to her feelings for the "first" boy? What if she falls in love again with him...can she actually do it all over again? Can she or is she willing to put her newly healed pride back into the game again?
Therefore, I beg you dear blog when you gaze at the sky at night and you happen to see a falling star please show it to me before it disappears so that I can make a wish...falling stars know better sometimes and grant us or not the wish to our best interest.

Men are from Mars and women are from Venus ? so who is from Earth?

Hello and Happy 2009! Being late as it is, I have the perfect chance instead of trying to write one of my papers for which I have a strict deadline to try to dedicate a few lines to the women of my life...starting from my awesome grandmother and ending to my facebook friends who I respect and admire.
Today I realised how misunderstood women are. Of course, I knew that but I couldn't grasp the magnitude of this misunderstanding. And also realised how much we misunderstood men. Nothing particular happened it was more of an epiphany than of an apocalypse. I was listening to the endless problems and complaints that my friends face everyday. One cannot stand the winning anymore, the other has him blocked because she feels hurt, another is feeling her legs num from standing by the phone for 2 days now waiting for the damn thing to ring and another one is simply crying, drinking and eating chocolate. I have an endless list of activities cause by male neglection and indifference towards women. All of my friends are secretely dreaming of a man to come and rescue them from their misery a true male vaguely reminding us of Prince Charmng on his white stallion from our beloved fairy tales. Prince Charming... The Absolute Male....strong, confident, powerful, handsome, rich, educated a man on whom you can count to save you or at least one you would be able to share your problems with.
But there is no Prince Charming in our lives just ordinary males that shout at us, cheat on us (sex is the only thing on their mind) , wait on us to serve them, turn to us for solutions to their problems and on top of that keep arguing that they are powerful and they deserve to be the boss of us! What? How? Why? hahahaha!
My grandmother was a strong woman ... financially indepedent (in the year 1920!) very well-educated (she could speak 7 languages) who left her hometown Istanbul to return to Greece all by herself...she found land, she built a house and gave birth to 6 children after her marriage and once she had done all that she was left a widow and then started the race of survival during the WWII alone again with 4 daughters. She used to say "men are worthless but we need them" me, the grandaughter that bears her name, asks "why? why do we need them?" My mother hurried to a response "they protect you" "of what?"
My aunt (her first daughter) spend a life as a widow, as well, having lost her husband at the age of 42. Ok, I thought it's a Greek thing...
My teacher from Milan, Italy was eager to trade places with her husband and die in his place and my friends are despeartely hooked on them, why?....(friends from Turkey, Holland, Germany, UK).
The answer came to me in the form of 2 men.
The first one was my very own boyfriend. He shouted at me yesterday and since then I completely refused any diplomatic solution but his humble apology. The moment he called and asked whether I was feeling any better I felt light-headed and a smile was drawn on my face. "So cute that he thought of me" So cute? So cute? 20 hours ago he told me "shut up, you stupid girl" and I was ready to cut him into the smallest pieces possible by a butcher's knife and now so cute? It's not a matter of love, it's a matter of tenderness. The maternal instinct of mammals comes inevitably with a great need of tenderness and affection and when we receive it we can forgive and forget (well, not exactly forget but surely forgive).
The second one was one of my "old" students asking for my advice since his current girlfriend refused to talk to him on the phone and he was afraid she was going to break up with him. Another endless dead-end conversation about her and that she is tired and busy and she wants to get some sleep and not rumble on the phone for hours consolidating him. At the end I stated clearly that I wouldn't help him and that he should search by himself why she is like this. My declaration was followed by a "why don't you help me?" So much for the powerful men I thought and I went to hide to my "appear offline" in order to get some peace of mind.
There I was cursing my luck this evening when it hit me! They are not powerful, they are not strong...they are scared!
The male role consists of bringing money to their families and of keeping their women happy and satisfied in bed and protected outside. They were never supposed to bring up children, they were never supposed to support their wives/girlfriends psychologically, they were never supposed to offer solutions.
Along with women's emancipation they lost the money-earner's role and the role of the protector and they became just "stallions" in our bed. One psychological shock for them.
Along with women's advanced education they are asked to contribute solutions and understanding to a relationship. Second psychological shock.
Women tired of looking for Mr. Right, discovered the hunt of Mr. Right Now...and males are disposable stallions , interchangable, no more the hunters. Third psychological shock.
Now, add the fact that they never grow up (they all are living and breathing Peter Pans)...what do you get? Afraid people, loaded with psychological shocks not being able to define their role in a relationship. All we have to do now is wait for them to pull theirselves together...
C'mon with what maturity? Would you really expect maturity from Peter Pan? He is still somewhere out there looking for new games to play with Captain Hook or for the new Playstation to come out....
We are left with 2 choices then... One we wait for them to come around , endlessly explaining and tutoring them..Two we learn to close our ears and eyes and let the maternal educational instict to surface and treat them like children.
Our grandmothers chose choice number 2, what about us then? Well we definitely need to lower our expectations when hunting for the proper male for reproduction! (Stupid biological clock stop ticking! he's not here yet!) and make a grand decision...men will be our physical shelter (they give really great hugs) and our girl friends our psychological shelter (girl power all the way).
We will understand once and for all that Prince Charming is in fact Prince Whinning but it still feels great having found one you call your own.
Moreover, for our ego boost "we will always have facebook".....
Good night darling girls, I love you